Posted in To the people who love...

Unhooked Bra


Unhooking my bra
Got me reminded of
How you walked out
Of my little world

You drifted away
Without even looking
Back at me or
Back at the past

We’ve created together
Unhooking us
Just to be able to
Breathe from me

And from this
Tight rope of promise
We used to call us
It was like

A hook in a bra
Two small pieces
Of rusting metal
Trying to hold

On to each other
Parted ways in the end
And you, the one
I’d thought would

Keep it strong and firm
Was the first one
Who cut ties with me
As if aggresively

Pulling off the only
Support we’d ever have
And i, then one
Who was left behind

Keeps going back to
The past happiness
While passing by
The sadness

Seemingly these
Marks created
By the bond we once
Had, had stayed at

The mid part of my back
Right on the gentle skin
As if marking the place
We once called ours

Ours that as hours
Pass by our lives
The once moments
Drifted away, faded

Like an old mark
So every time i get
To dress up for
A new day’s task

I got to be reminded
First hand of you
To how we’ve parted
And still, i, like

An old habit
Choose to
Look back to
Anything that’s left

As if choosing to
Wear the same
Old and worn out bra
Each time i connect

The two tiny metals
Of my overused bra
I’d silently wish
That closing the gap

Will also mean
Closing the possibility
That we won’t be
Together again.


Posted in To the people who love..., To this broken heart...

I farted stars and unicorns

I was asleep; that thin piece of cloth barely covering my body. The night was cold but it didn’t matter. I was lying there, lying on the green grass as if it served as my bed in an open room full of darkness.
It was dark. There wasn’t any sign of light that could give me hope that dawn was near. I was shivering, eyes shut and teeth gritted.
I was waiting for your arrival. I can just choose to leave, but I didn’t. I don’t even want to. You said you’d come back.

You just have to find yourself. But were you lost? I don’t remember seeing your soul leaving your body or the other way around.

I was skeptical to believe your reason but I ended up buying it– ended up waiting in the cold and dark night.
You left me there, remember? I was stretching my arms to you as you slowly walk away from me. Irrational tears fell from my eyes as I watched your retreating back. You said you’d come back and I believed you, even if I know, at the back of my mind, that you’re good in telling lies. When you left, you didn’t even dare to look back as if you haven’t left something, someone– me.
You said you believe in magic. Well, I don’t. You tell me stories about unicorns and damsel in distress and glass slippers. I just listen pretending to be interested to your fictional stories.
I loved you that’s why I forced to make myself be a fan of magic, of mysteries, even if I really don’t.
You see? Magic took you away from me.
When we were together in this same place, hands intertwined, you saw a ting flicker of light. You were fascinated. I even noticed your eyes sparkling. You ought to follow that light, while I stopped you. Then moments passed, you begun telling me that you’re tired, fed up with this whole relationship bound by love. Were you tired of me? Or tired of pretending that you love me?
You’re a liar! You don’t really believe in unicorns and damsels in distress or glass slippers. You hated them. It was just that you thought that I was the one who liked them that’s why you tried liking them as well. But it was such a big mistake to like something you really don’t.
And it’s the same with your feelings. You’re a fat liar, a puppet manipulated by your own greed and ego. You said I was your princess. But you lied again. You saw me as a prey, a bird perhaps. That kind of bird people sell for its beauty. You were my hunter. Like a fool, I let you hunt me and catch. Now that I no longer posses that beauty, you chose to leave me– throwing me like a garbage.
You won’t come back. You won’t. That’s a given

But because I am a fool, I still stay on the same spot where you left me. I look up and stare at the endless darkness.

I noticed stars started floating around me. They were shining so bright. Then unicorns fly leaving a trace of light.

They were coming from me, from me bottom– or the bottom of my heart or stomach. I’m not sure. But they’re beautiful.

Maybe, I farted stars and unicorns, holding the piece of hope that it will bring me light in this dark night and a possibility that one of your lies might be true.


* * *

I don’t know if does make any sense. I just hope it does.

Posted in To the people who love...

Your Holy Birthday

We’ve been celebrating Christmas for years. We all have the feeling of excitement as we welcome that moment. Every person seem to enjoy the idea of having fun during that specific day in December. We love the Christmas spirit.
Children sing songs infront of our homes as they create music using improvised cymbals and tambourine. They anticipate midnight because of the variety of mouth-watering food on top of the table. But then somewhere between those smiles and hugs that we see during that day, somewhere between the gifts and money that we give and receive, we seemed to forget the essence why Christmas happens. Do we still remember why?

Sure. It is utterly fun when our relatives and friends gather in order to celebrate together. But do we still remember why Christmas even started?
We’re having fun, exchanging gifts and hugs with our loved ones, but on the process, we forgot Jesus.

Jesus, the Son of God, is the reason Christmas happened and is still happening. Jesus Christ, who died on the cross to give us all salvation, was born in order for us to live an eternal life.
We should thank Him for loving us. We should celebrate Christmas, reminding ourselves that Jesus Christ died and lived again. We should be thankful that because of Jesus Christmas, we all have a reason to give and receive love. We all have a opportunity to be with the people that we treasure even just for a limited time. It is Lord Jesus who binds everyone. He binds us with love, because He is the beloved Son of God.
As long as the Love of God is felt in this world, Christmas will always be meaningful and lovely.

We are forever blessed. ♥


Posted in To the people who love..., To the people who still feel pain...

Cupid’s Target


Yes. Love seems to be killing me.

I was too naive to believe to those fantasy stories we usually hear before going to sleep. I was too innocent to think that I can be a princess, a queen or even a damsel in distress.
Rarely in our life do we realize the reality and more often than not, we rely on illusions.

Love might be some kind of magical spell that conspires anyone to be under its spell. Maybe, the weak ones fall for it so easily.

But I believed that I’m not weak. I believed I’m better. Truthfully, I cannot afford to accept defeat.
I’m not sure if it was my pride or I was just afraid.
Yes. I do love the idea of love but I didn’t like the idea of falling.
Thus, when I found myself under the spell, I realized how weak I was. I realized how powerful love is that it can make someone sane enough go insane. I was almost there.
I felt the slow piercing of arrow on my chest. It went deeper into my skin as it hurt more. Everything around me became nothing but a blur. I was slowly devoured by that pain. It went slowly as if prolonging my agony. I wish I’d go numb.
It surprises me how good Cupid is when it comes to this job. He shoots arrow really well that he doesn’t even think twice who to shoot and when to shoot. I was still under that poisonous spell and I don’t think I’ll be able to break it.
I was trying to contain the agonizing pain, wishing it’ll end. If I’d have a chance next time, I will make sure that Cupid will miss shooting my heart.

Posted in To the people who love...

Downfalls: Falling in Love

Falling in love… is easy. But falling while trying to give trust is hard.

I once read in one of my favorite novels that “to be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved“. How can you love someone if you can’t trust him?

TRUST. A big part of loving. I think, trust breaks first before the heart. Trusting is not all about yourself, it is about you and the one you love. That You and I. US.

We feel pain whenever we fall for someone. But does it always matter if you suffer now? Like trust, pain is also a part of loving. Like what John Green said, “Pain demands to be felt.” So, it does enters our life. It makes your story tragic but awesome at the same time. Every tear that flows from your eyes…every word that comes from your mouth every time you scream… It is all about the pain that you are suffering. But believe me when I say that at the end of the day, when things seem to be alright, you realize that you are still happy because of that one awesome man whom you cherish.

There will be twists and turns…ups and downs… but stay strong and believe. There will be downfalls, problems and mistakes. That is the reality of being a fool in love. Never give up because you are too tired. Don’t waste that long walk that you took for some petty reasons. Hold his hand and never let it go, because your awesome end awaits.

“Keep on believing that out of all the billions of damn humans who are currently breathing on this fallen world, there is someone who will love you awesome-ly.”♥

I still believe in that no matter how I suffer pain. I hope that you do, too.