Posted in A blog, Personal, Story, The nearing end...

how i met him (and how it ended)

According to a book I’ve read, people come and go, forever drifting in and out of our lives. Some would stay but some would just pass by. It hurts that the ones you wanted to stay the most are the ones who leave.
In my case, he didn’t just leave. But he also snatched the little happiness that he brought me and left me sadness instead. I shouldn’t let myself drown in that ocean of happiness and fleeting moments. No. I should have just stayed in the shore and never get in the water in the first place. I forgot. I don’t know how to swim. Now, I am slowly drowning at the bottom of the ocean where sadness lies– where screaming for help would be useless because no one would hear me.
It’s funny how I still wish for him to come back even though I’ve been hurt already. It’s an epic choice to still hope for that guy to come and save me. But how could he? In the first place, he was the one who pushed me to drown. And it’s stupid how willingly I am to still hope and to look like fool for nothing. Because frankly speaking, I thought we’d have that little piece of forever. I had hoped for that. But then I guess we can’t find forever with the wrong guy– with the wrong person.
In the end, this was just a long chapter of a book where he played a significant role then vanished after portraying it. Now, I have to the turn the page and get over it. But how?

They say there’s always a rainbow after the rain. I wish I can hope for that easily, but how can I have that rainbow if it’s always raining whenever I wake up?

* * *

Actually right now, even if I am trying to pick up my pieces and surviving to live, the pain still lingers. It creeps in to my body, trying to destroy me once again. But I am trying to prevent that from happening again because the guy who was supposed to protect me left me already.

I wish it would be easier to move on. Because whenever I think about him, I just break down and cry. I just love him so much that it hurts to think that he’s gone. He left me.

But the funny part is that I will still see him this coming semester. He’s my classmate after all. How can I live with that?

Posted in A blog, blog, Personal, Story

how i met him: update 1

I would be fooling myself if I’ll say that I am so happy right now. Frankly speaking, I’m not. I feel empty.

He said he loves. He said he’d prove it. But nowadays, I am contemplating his feelings towards me, if they were really genuine. I doubt him sometimes. Humans don’t really follow the science of consistency. We change, from good to bad, from bad to worse… Then better and good again. And we’re like that. We are.

Sometimes, he’s sweet. Sometimes, he’s not. He also can’t feel if he offended me with his words or not. I, on the other hand, am scared to tell him that he did. He might think that I am over reacting, that I am sensitive.

He shows less effort than what I expected. I cannot just use his love as my foundation. It won’t be enough. I need to see and feel it. I need him to prove that. I did to build trust because I have some issues on that– trust issues.

“I’ll wait.” That was what he told me. But now, it feels like he’s getting tired of this whole chase. We barely started this unlabeled relationship. Now, it seems like we’re nearing the end.

The end that never had a once upon a time. The end that never had enough magic!

I’m afraid of the conclusion of this story because I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t even want to let him go. But there are also our priorities that we have to consider first as well. This frustrates me more. It seems like nothing can fit into their right places that’s why I have to let go one. But I don’t want to.

So, here I am, silently wishing that he’d just stop loving me and praying at the same time that he won’t. I think I am losing my sanity.

Is this really what love does to you? It makes you insane?

I love him. I’ve grown to love him. That’s why I am so afraid right now– afraid that he might get tired of waiting, afraid that he might not.

I hate myself for being this way.

And I hate him for not being that way.


I only need assurance. I need to be prepared. I have to.

If only he would just wait a little much longer (and I think these adjectives contradict a lot), I would be willing to love him.

Not now. But later.


Please, Chan, wait for me. Wait for us.

Posted in Story, Uncategorized

Featuring Her

One shot… based on the best-selling alibi! Hahaha. Charr guys!
True story or not? You decide.

Title: Closure or Comeback?

I am a grown up lady now. Or so I thought. I just barely started my college life. Well, I can say that it was fun. Diary, it was fun!

Haha! Who am I fooling? Actually, it was a living hell compared to high school. It was good that first semester is already over. It’s a new year. Kaso bagong taon, may tao namang namemeste sa mood ko. (It’s a new year yet someone’s pestering my mood.)

I was single for 2 years, Diary. Two effin’ years! But then you know about this story, right? Of course you do. I wrote it.

Now, he’s back. Oh well! Let’s have a recap.

Back in high school, I met this guy through a friend of mine. We became buddies… he courted me for six months… gave me flowers… send me sweet notes and songs. I prolonged his suffering. Well, I never had a boyfriend before, so practically, hindi ko alam kung paano maging girlfriend (I don’t how to act like a real girlfriend). I thought that time that I wasn’t a girlfriend material (I am a hopeless romantic, but I’m not sweet). And to be honest, I wasn’t still over with my one-sided crush/love with my first love. Childish noh? ( isn’t it?)

Well, going back, I told him I wasn’t still ready to be in a relationship and I’d like add as a reason about family issues to that. I am afraid of the heartbreak as well. I read a lot of stories and watched movies. (I am quiet a fan!)

The funny things was, I decided to try. I sorted things out and found out that I do like him… I wasn’t just sure if I love him. Well, if I was being played, it’s better not to put my guard down, right?

So on Christmas eve, I accepted him. I wasn’t at all joyful about the sudden change. But then I felt a pang of guilt so I tried to make it work. But he was the one who didn’t try.

Let’s say that we didn’t really like each other. Up until now hindi ko alam bakit naging kami. (I still wonder why we became a couple.)

Two weeks or so later, I got sick of it– of that overrated game of teen love. I decided to end it earlier. They say, the earlier the better. Kaso sya pala yung tatapos. (I didn’t expect that he’s ending it first.)

I was dumped. Ah! Scratch that. Iniwan lang pala ako sa ere. (He left me hanging.) Basically, walang break up, walang closure. Bigla na lang syang hindi nagparamdam. (There wasn’t any break up, no closure either. He just disappeared.) I can’t reach his phone and he wasn’t replying to my messages in Facebook.

I was dumbfounded, like what the hell? I felt like I was played even though I was one of the player. Tsk! Then I realized, I did loved him. Iniyakan ko sya eh. Nag-emo ako dahil sa kanya. (I cried becuase of him. I became like an emo.) I was fooling myself then. Indenial lang ako. Kung kelan nya ako iniwan, dun ko mararamdaman. (I was just indenial. When he already left me, that’s when I realized my true feelings.)

Days passed, months passed and I tried to get over with my first failed relationship. I concluded that he didn’t have an interest in me in the first place. Jerk!

I graduated in high school and entered a different school. Ayokong makita sya sa iisang University. (I didn’t want to meet him in the same University.) It’s not that I still love him, hindi ko lang alam kung anong ire-react kapag nagkita kami. (I just didn’t know what to react when I see him.)

Then one day, while I was peacefully checking my wall, he messaged me a “hi”. Woah! Parang walang nangyari, right? Kapal. (It’s like nothing happened between us. Thickfaced!)

Testing him, I replied. The exchange of words became a convo. Kinamusta nya ako… same rin sakin… hanggang sa napunta sa past. (We said our greetings, untill it landed about our past.)

Sabi nya kung pwede bang maging kami ulit. Sabi ko naman, “nag-break ba tayo?… ah! Right! Silent break up pala ano? Kakaiba tayo eh. You went AWOL tapos ako na lang bahalang mag-decode nung nangyari as hey ayoko na. Break na tayo.” I realized that I’ve grown to hate him for real.

(He asked me to reconcile. I asked him, “did we broke up. Ah! Right! It was a silent break up! We’re different huh. You went AWOL and then I’ll be the one who’ll decode what happened as, hey! I’m done. Let’s break.”)

He apologized. Sabi nya nahihiya daw sya sakin. Natatakot syang kausapin ako. Nasira yung phone nya, di nya ako nakontak… mga ganung nonsensical na rason ng isang jerk.

(He said that he’s ashamed to face me. He’s afraid to talk to me. His phone was broken that’s why I couldn’t contact him… err, the usual alibis from a certified jerk.)

I wasn’t stupid to buy his lies. Hell, why would I!?

Sabi nya mahal pa daw nya ako at hind(i sya nagkaroon ng girlfriend since we “silently broke up” (note: add sarcasm in there). Sinong niloko nya?

(he said he didn’t have any gilfriend after me and that he still loves me. Who was he fooling?)

Sinong magmamahal pa rin ng isang taong ni-hindi nya nakasama o kinausap sa loob ng dalawang taon?
Sinong maniniwala na wala syang naging girlfriend after me kung cover photo nya nga months after he disappeared eh babae? (okay, I stalked him.)

Ako pa ba? Ako pa bang niloko nya?

Fooling me once is enough to learn a lesson.

Makikipag-balikan sya na parang walang nangyari? Ano sya? Loka-loka?

Sabihin mo Diary? Nag-iisip ba sya.

Hindi lahat ng nagmamahal, nagtatagal. (Not everyone who love lasts long.)

That’s what I told him. I hate him to death kasi liar sya. But it won’t do me any good. Bahala sya sa buhay nya.

Hindi ko na nireply’an yung ibang senseless na message nya. Actually, nakakaumay syang kausap. Paulit-ulit na lang. Parang sirang plaka. Nakakainis.

Hanggang salita lang naman sya.

Funny. A week after that nakita ko na lang sa isang status nya na in a relationship sya.

Wahaha! Jerk talaga, kala nya ikina-gwapo nya yun.

Diary, I am happy because once and for all, I didn’t let him fool me. Utot nya!

Love always,

It’s utterly looooong, but I hope you finished it ’till the end lovelies! Lovelots!

Posted in Story

i change it

This is my first time writing a Mystery story.
Well, honestly speaking, the original plot wasn’t my idea. I was just told to write it in words. I enjoyed writing it, anyway. It is also my first time writing an English story (pure English at that!).
I give the credits for the plot to one of my roommates who is a year older than me (Ate Kaye! Hi, hi!)



I have a power. 

I possess a power that only chosen people have. I’m not aware who they are, though. I am not sure if they do exist.

I can see visions. I can predict the future. I know. This sounds weird because cases like this are seen in movies and are written in books, but this exists. I exist.

I am not certain if this is a gift or a curse. Well, it helps me see things clearly. So that doesn’t look bad, right? Here’s the real deal. I get information, good and bad. I am given the chance to prepare myself when something is unlikely to happen. I take that as a gift. You might assume that I am enjoying it, but I really don’t. I cannot feel excitement anymore when there’s a big surprise because I have known about it even before it could happen. I really hate that. I wish I could make it stop. I want to be normal like the other kids, but even if I pray every night to make it go away, it won’t be. So, I just let it pass.

I don’t change the future. I just watch it happen. I chose it to be that way. I believe that if it stayed like that, I become normal and less weird. Today’s an exception, though.

I had this vision again, which I didn’t vividly understand. I have this bad and heavy feeling. I want to forget it, but I know that once I saw something, it will stay there until it will happen. Now, I chose to change it. I don’t want to be indifferent.

“Aren’t you coming, darling? Andy is here.” I heard my mom’s voice from the kitchen.

“Coming!” I answered. I looked at myself in front of the mirror. I fixed my hair and my uniform. I smiled. “Not bad.” I whispered. I grabbed my bag and went down stairs immediately.

I hurriedly walked towards the kitchen and snatched a sandwich. “You’re not going to have breakfast again?” My mom asked.

“I am currently having breakfast, mom.” I retorted.

“Is that what you call breakfast, darling? You’re losing weight!” she exclaimed. My mom is a sweet person. I know that.

“Then that’s good news.” I said. “Besides we’re already late.” I added.

“But darling…” I kissed her on the cheek.

“Bye mom. See you later.” I opened the door and walked outside.

“So, I can probably blame you now, right? We’re late again.” My best friend shoved at my face the moment she saw me.

“Andy, come on! Don’t be too mean. We still have ten minutes.” I reasoned out.

“Ten minutes? Our drive to school takes fifteen minutes, Elle! For Pete’s sake, grow up!” She said frustrated.

“Just shut up, okay? Let’s go.” I dragged her.

“You’re hurting me.” She whined.

“I’m sorry. The bus is waiting. We need to hurry.” I said.

“Okay, okay.” She retorted.

We ran towards the bus. We were catching our breaths when we took our seats.

“That was really tiring.” I exclaimed.

“Don’t mention it.”

Andy is my best friend since third grade. She’s my better girl half. I am an only child, so I guess I have the right to proclaim it. I truly treasure her. We may look like sworn enemies but we’re not. Let’s just say that it’s the way we show our undying love and care for each other. Whoever goes against that, I’ll smack him on the face.

We reached school fifteen minutes later. It’s good because I know that our teacher will be late, too. Andy had the chance to fix her own self and apply make-up, while I just waited for her. I am not fond of decorating myself, anyway. I am just that typical high school girl who doesn’t have any care about fashion and the like. My best friend is the entire opposite of me. Andy is a good person. She’s just a nagger sometimes, but I already accepted her flaws. Well, all of us are flawed, anyway. So I don’t have any reason to judge her any further.

“Didn’t you’re mom cooked for you?” Andy asked.

“She did, but I had to skip breakfast again.” I answered while I chew my food.

“I told you. You need to grow up, Elle.” I just rolled my eyes.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” I asked her.

“Nope, I’m not hungry. Besides, I’m busy.” She replied. Her attention is still focused on her phone.

Andy loves key chains. Her bag has key chains on it, and her phone, too. She bought a pink small bear keychain for her phone.

Something hit me, not physically, but mentally. That reminds me of my vision. No! It can’t be. This is not right.

“Are you okay, Elle?” Andy snapped. I looked at her. The bell suddenly rang.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” I said then started walking.

I have been seeing bad things, but I let it slide. I saw accidents, deaths and the like, but I didn’t do anything to change them because I didn’t know the people in that vision. I was only praying that it won’t happen for real, but it actually did. The news confirms it. It was already too late for me to change a thing.

Well, I know that it is not my business. Besides what can a mere teenager do to stop the future, or barely change it? I cannot, but I want to. I badly want to change it now.

This morning, I saw this scene about a girl riding on a bus. The driver drove too fast that the bus crashed with a truck. It was a strong impact that it caused the bus to flip over. Then I saw a girl lying on the road bathing with her own blood, lifeless. She’s wearing her high school uniform. I only saw her holding a phone because a lot of people surround her. I noticed that the phone she’s holding is familiar.

“Elle! What’s taking you so long?” I heard Andy calling for me.

“I am almost done!” I replied. I went outside the washroom.

“My gosh, Elle. You really move like a turtle.” She said.

“Well, I’m sorry.” I apologized. I looked at Andy. They have the same uniform. I want to brush it off and think that it’s just a nightmare. In the back of my mind, I know that it is not.

We walked towards the bus stop. I really don’t like this bad feeling. I need to do something.

“Tie your shoelace, Andy.” I told her.

“Oh! Yeah. I got this.” She exclaimed.

“Hold this, please.” She handed to me her pouch and tied her shoelace.

“Oh no! I forgot my file case, Andy.” I said trying to look worried.

“Then let’s get it.” She suggested.

“But my mom told me to hurry. Well, I’ll just get it tomorrow.” I know Andy is a nice friend.

“No, we have a report tomorrow and you need to review the content. I’ll just go back and get it.” She volunteered.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Besides, what are friends are for, right?” she said.

“Oh! Thank you so much!” I hugged her.

“Geez! You’re so emotional. Go home now! You’re mom’s waiting.” I saw the bus arrived.

“Go.” Andy beckons me to go inside the bus.

“Take care, alright?” I told her.

She nodded. “I’ll give you your file case later.” She said.

“Okay.” She waved at me and started walking towards the directions of the school. The heavy feeling that I was feeling is still there as I watched her walk away. I believe that it’ll vanish later on.

I took the seat near the door. Thanked God I saved her. I sighed.

I noticed that the bus is not full. The drive is fast, too. I think I’ll arrive at home early. Well, the truth is, I just made up that excuse about my mom, but I really did forget my file case. So, I know that Andy’s efforts wouldn’t be put to waste.

I noticed that there are only few people who are in this bus, most of them are students. I remembered that vision again. I was certain that it could be Andy, but I stopped it. I know that I stopped it. I change the future. I changed now. It can’t be that the other people here will be the victim. The girl’s uniform was the same with ours. I suddenly looked at the small mirror placed just above the windshield. I saw my reflection through it. I am wearing my uniform. It hit me. This can’t be! I was startled when a phone rang. No! It’s not my phone. The ringtone is different. I searched for the phone and found Andy’s pouch. I opened it and found her phone there.

I answered the call.

“Hello? Elle! I forgot to get my pouch from you. My wallet is there and I don’t have any money…”

I really didn’t listen to what she’s saying. My heart is beating really fast enough for me to hear it. I can hear Andy. But I barely listen to her. I can’t accept this.

I suddenly heard a deafening beep, then a strong and loud crash. I saw a bright light and then darkness.

It was me.

Posted in Amateur Writer, Story

Happy Ending? Joke Ka Ba? (Chappie 1-5)

This is a pure fictional story so the characters used were just fiction, too. Do not plagiarize. Thank you.

Chappie 1: The Meet-Up

Nami-miss ko sya. Gusto ko ulit syang makita. Araw-araw, gusto ko syang nakikita.

Sana maibalik ko lahat sa dati. Pssh! G*go kasi ako eh! Nakakainis! Niloko ko sya at…SINAKTAN..

Sh*t! Ang tanga ko. Ngayon ko lang na-realize na she’s one of a kind. Bakit nga ba?… kasi sya yung tipo ng babaeng mahal ako… sya yung tipong napakataas ng pride, that she doesn’t know how to apologize. Di nga alam mag-“sorry” eh. Malay ko ba sa babaeng yun! Though, I kind of like it. Kaya siguro mas kikiligin ako sa “sorry” nya kesa sa “I love you” nya. Palaban din yun. Yung sasakalin ka ng nakaakbay kapag di mo pinalit yung softdrinks mo sa softdrinks nya? Mga ganung bagay. Ganun sya ‘pre! Ang sweet noh?… At eto pa ha… Ni minsan di ko pa sya na-halikan o hinalikan sa labi. Bakit ulit?…hmmm. sabihin na lang nating isa iyong requirement sa pagiging isang lalakig patay na patay sa kanya. Hoo! Naks. Ang romantic naming talaga noh? Talong-talo ang mga Disney princesses eh. Grabe! Kinikilig ako ‘pre. Haha. Lalo ko tuloy na-miss yung babaeng yun. *sighs*

Mahal ko pa rin sya eh. Yun ang masaklap sa lahat. Pero yun din ang pinakamaganda sa lahat ng nangyari…mahal ko pa rin sya. Ang gulo noh?… Sana nga napatawad nya na ako.

Four months. Apat na buwan ‘pre para makapag-isip ako ng matino. At ngayon?… I’m determined to put us back.

College na pala ako, ‘pre! Fourth year na. Palabas ako ng kwarto ko ng akmang bubuksan ko yung pinto, at nakita ko yung malaking picture ng dalawang tao na nakadikit sa likuran ng pinto. Hanep! Ang cute ko dyan!

            The memory when we’re on a playground, sitting on the grass, came rushing back. Nakaramdam ako ng mixed emotions- masaya na malungkot. Ang saya nya dyan. Actually, ako rin masaya, kaso hindi evident eh. Nasasakal kasi ako sa akbay nya sakin. Pero syempre magaling ‘to tol! Naka-lapat yung labi ko sa cheek nya. Yung itsura ko naka-halik sa kanya na naka-tingin sa camera na gulat rin. Habang sya naman, well… she was smiling widely there. Masasabi kong bagay talaga sa kanya yung maliit na nunal nya sa gilid ng mata nya. It suits her smile.

After kong ma-realize na I want to win her back, binalik ko ulit yan dyan. It kind of made me feel guilt and regret whenever I see that. Yun yung reason kung bakit tinanggal ko muna.

Napatingin ako sa digital clock ko.

I left, still wearing that crazy smile as I go back to the memories that I had with her. Throwback!

Narating ko yung room na sabay lang kami nung prof na pumasok. Umupo ako sa pinaka-harap na upuan, yung malapit sa pinto. Eh, ano namang aasahan mo? Sa ayaw nung ibang makinig sa lecture kaya sa likod naupo. Reality sucks pare!

Nag-simula na yung klase. Tumingin ako sa katabi ko, at muntik na akong mahulog sa upuan ko dahil sa gulat. Dandanin! My seatmate gave me a puzzled look. Then she raised an eyebrow.

“Bakit?… Para kang nakakita ng multo ah. Oy! Kung ayaw mo ‘kong katabi, lipat! Madali naman akong kausap eh. At FYI lang ha. Ikaw ang tumabi sakin. Hindi ako! Okay? IKAW!…” She said with her bitchy tone. Sungit! Then she turned her attention to the prof.

Oo nga pala noh?…Haist! classmate ko pala ‘tong babaeng ‘to. Tss.




Chappie 2: My Introvert Classmate

Classmate ko sya nung high school. Siya yung babaeng hindi masyadong nagsasalita. Hindi ko nga rin alam kung sadyang tahimik sya o binabayaran nya lang talaga yung sinasabi nya.

Palagi nya ring kasama yung medyo chubby na kaklase namin. Dahil nga medyo na-capture nya yung attention ko that time, kahit na napaka-silent nya, na-realize ko, sya lang yung kaibigang meron sya, o siguro, na gusto lang nyang makasama. She was so mysterious that I desired to uncover her identity. Minsan nga sa galing kong mag-ISIP, naisip kong baka bampira sya, o kaya witch kaya sya ganun kailap sa tao. Yet, I proved that I was wrong.

Kahit classmates kami nung high school ng apat na taon, I never had the chance to have a single conversation with her- I mean, yung mahaba-haba at matino. Minsan naiisip ko nun, classmate ko ba talaga ‘yan?

Napaisip pa nga ako noon na baka pipi sya, o baka nanguya nya lang yung dila nya nung 6 years old sya at di na sya nakabili ng bago. Kaso mali pa rin ang teorya ko eh.

Waley ba?… ang korny noh?… Wala lang talaga akong masabing mas matino kesa sa pagsabing mahal ko sya. Yay! Ang cheesy ko masyado koya. Pasensya na, sabog lang talaga ako.

Miss ko lang talaga yung baliw na yun kaya ako ganito… grabe kung maka-throwback.

Sige sige. Babalik na ako sa present.

Nakaramdam ako ng awkwardness sa tabi nya. Di ako mapakali. Nakakatakot nga eh, baka sa kaba ko, maihi na ako dito. Aysus! Nakakahiya kung magkataon. Naku! Wag naman sana.  Para rin kasing kinikiliti ako ng upuan ko eh. May kamay ba ‘to? Palagi ko ring nahuhulog yung ballpen ko sa tuwing nagpe-penspin ako. Gusto ko ngang magsalita eh, pero tai! Wala akong maisip na pwedeng sabihin. Para bang bomba?… isang mali lang na masabi mo…BOOM PANES! Este… boom, ba-bye CHANCE. Ang torpe ko ba kasi masyado?… What the f*ck?!?… I really suck at this. Tae.

I manage to utter the most possible word that I could pronounce.

“Ellie…” At bago ko pa mabawi yung binuga kong hangin… “You can talk to me after class. Dun sa palagi nating tambayan. You can wait for me. Hindi ako yung hihintay sa’yo.” She said without even looking at me. Her words hit me. Bitter pa rin sya. Eh sino ba namang hindi di ba?… hindi ko sya masisisi kasi nasaktan sya… mali! Sinaktan ko sya. Kainis! Ang sakit isipin. Nasasaktan sya, at ako… ang nakakasakit.

Pero alam mo ‘tol? Ang maganda sa kanya, sya yung tipo ng tao na pakikinggan yung side ko. Hindi sya magko-conclude unless narinig nya yung paliwanag ko. Kaya nga lang siguro hindi nya ako pinag-explain kasi masyadong masakit eh. Masyado ko syang nasaktan. I understand… and I know where I shall place myself. Alam ko kung saan ako dapat lumugar. Bopols! Tinagalog ko lang eh. Jeez.

Nag-face palm ako. I recalled that memory. Naaalala ko pa yung huling salitang binigkas nya bago sya lumayo…

Sinampal nya ako- well, I deserved that. Tumutulo ang luha nya. “Salamat.” She said smiling sarcastically. She turned her back and I watched her walked away… away from me.

I was a stupid jerk! I know. Alam ko namang tao lang rin ako (Kahit hindi halata.), nagkakamali. Pero alam ko ring maling-mali yung nagawa ko. Masyado akong mali. It was too much. Sa pagiging labis, labis din akong nakasakit.

Natapos ko yung klase na hindi na kami nag-usap pa. Nauna syang lumabas ng room na mag-isa. Wala naman syang ibang malapit na kaibigan dito maliban sakin eh. Kaya nung nag-break kami, mag-isa nanaman sya.

Chappie 3: At the Playground

Mahirap nga talagang magmahal, ano? Sa sobrang hirap at sakit, nakakalimutan na nating huminga. We forgot ourselves just because of a stupid love. Kaya minsan di na natin alam ang depenisyon ng takteng pagmamahal na yan eh! Komplikado, nakaka-tanga, nakakasakit, pero ‘tol maniwala ka man o hindi, masaya.

Eto pa. May alam akong isang bagay. Hindi yan pipitsuging math problem na i-google mo lang yung formula eh ayos na…alam mo na agad yung solution. Kailangan kasi ng life experience, hindi ini-my-nimu. Wala rin yang shortcut ‘pre.

Yan ngayon ang tinatahak ko- hinihintay ang babaeng inaasahan kong magiging rason ng life experience ko sa pag-ibig. I really hope she’ll come. Hindi nga ako mapakali ngayon eh. Di naman ako umaasa na tatanggapin nya ako eh…hmmm, okay. Aaminin ko, umaasa ako ng kaunting pag asa. Pero, ang makausap sya, parang sobra na yun eh. Kaya siguro magiging sapat na saking dumating siya at makita ko sya.

Naupo ako sa swing. Then I remembered a certain memory.

“Ano ka ba Pangs? Para ka amang bading eh. Takot ka bang mahulog?” Halata sa kanyang inaasar nya ako. “Ikaw kaya umupo dito Pangs? Nang malaman mo!” Sinabi ko ng seryoso at nakatingin sa kanya. Tinitigan nya ako, tapos napatawa sya. Luh! Baliw!

“Kasi…hahaha…kasi naman…ikaw…wahahaha…para kang…ahaha…” Sagot nya. Namimilipit na ata tiyan kakatawa. Loka-loka talaga ‘to. May linta ba sa pwet ‘tong babaeng to at tawa ng tawa?

“Para akong ano..!?!” Naiirita kong tanong. Lumapit sya sakin. Yumuko sya at nagtapat ang mga mukha namin. Ah! Sobrang lapit. No! Ang first ko Pangs! Wag mong nakawin.Haha. Nakikita ko ng malapitan yung magaganda nyang mata. Ang ganda nya talaga sa paningin ko. Yung mga matang ‘yan, may ibubugang saya- at ang maliit na nunal na ‘yon. Ang ganda nya lang talaga eh. Hindi ko naman sinasabing pinakamanganda sya sa lahat. Pero pinakamaganda sya sa paningin ko. I’d prefer other guys would think that she’s ugly. Kasi that way, solo ko sya. They won’t fall for her. And I don’t need to fight for her. Practical ‘pre! Technically, you need tactics, para di sa’yo maagaw ang bola. Sabihin mong inihian mo, para deretso sa ring ka na. haha.

“Para kang baboy. Ang cute-cute moooo!” Sabay pisil nya sa kawawang ilong ko. May black long hair rin sya na wavy. She doesn’t have a perfect set of teeth, actually may sungki sya eh, but her smile is just perfectly fine for me. Siguro given na yun kapag nagmahal ka. Lahat na sa kanya eh maganda. Laitin mo man, maganda pa rin. You don’t call it blind love dude. Naa-appreciate lang natin kung anong nasa kanya… kung anong binigay rin sa ‘ting ganda.

“Bakit? Hindi naman ako mataba ah! Atsaka ang sakit nun ah!” I complained. “Matakaw ka! Hindi mataba. Baboy, baboy! Hahaha. Baboy! Oink oink.” She teased. Then she laughed.

“Alam mo minsan hindi ko malaman kung bakit niligawan kita.” Umiling-iling ako. Hah! Ano ka Pangs! Ikaw lang? “ANO!?!?…ganun pala ah!” Pinatay nya ako ng tingin. Nakow! Lagot na. Pinaglihi pa naman sa asong ulol ‘tong asawa ko, este, kasama ko… pala.

“Pangs naman. Joke lang. Di ka na mabiro. Hehe.” Paglalambing ko. Kaso, binatukan nya ako. Guys! Maniwala man kayo o hindi, di ako under-the-saya. Ganito lang talaga magmahal Pangs ko. At hindi rin ako martyr. Ganito lang din ako magmahal.

Naglakad sya papunta sa likuran at tinulak yung swing ng pagka-lakas-lakas.

Dahil may lahi kaming tanga, hindi ako kumapit. At nahulog ako sa damuhan na may bato dahil may sayad sa utak ang girlfriend ko. Bagay kami ka mo!

“Patay! Ang baboy nahulog!” Tss. Nagawa pa talaga nya akong asarin ah. Lumapit sya sa’kin. Umayos ako ng upo sa damuhan. “Uy! Okay ka lang?” She asked with a worried face. “Mukha ba?” Oh! Nagtampo na tuloy ako.

“Eh. Baliw ka pala talaga noh! Dapat kumapit ka sana. Dapat lagi kang ready paano na kapag may ki-kidnap sa’kin?… Tapos nangungulangot ka pala. Eh, di hindi mo ‘ko nahawakan kasi you have filthy hands. Eh, di tangay nila ako!!!” Hinampas nya ako ng notebook.

Thanks po at hindi hardbound! Guys, tindi ng imagination nya, noh? Malayo sa riyalidad.

Napangiti ako sa sinabi nya. “OA mo naman! At ba’t naman ako nangungulangot aber.” Nakapamewang pa ako na parang bading sa lagay na ‘yan. “Kadiri ka talaga Pangs, eew!” Napatawa sya pero tumigil din. Tumayo sya, at naglakad palayo. Grabe! Mga babae talaga-MOODY!

“Hoy! Iiwan mo ‘ko dito? May sugat ako! Hoy babae!” Honestly speaking, meron nga tsong! She’s good at hurting me physically- aggressive girl. She threw her first-aid kit that she always bring. Hindi sya medic. Kelangan lang talaga para sa ikabubuti ko.

“Hindi mo ba gagamutin?” pangungulit ko. Hindi sya tumigil sa paglalakad. “Hindi.” Hindi nya ako nilingon. Ampupu naman oh! “Hindi ka manlang magso-sorry?” Inantay ko yung isasagot nya.”You already know the answer…so don’t f*ckin’ ask me that. Hindi ko ‘yan sinasabi.” Jackpot! Nakalingon sya nung sumagot sya. Ngumiti pa rin ako kahit na ganun sya…tapos sabi ko…

“Ellie, my Pangs, I love you.” Ang landi ko ‘tol! Ang korny, tai. “Fudge you!” naglakad sya palapit sa akin. Ano ka? Mahal ako dib a? Di ako natiis! Ayee! *keneleg*

“I’ll fudge you? Sure.” I winked. Nginitian ko sya ng nakakaloko. “Tarans ka talaga!… Tara na nga! Hindi lang kita lababs iniwan na kita dito. Psh.” Hinawakan nya yung braso ko- urging me to stand up.

“Oh? Talaga lang?… Eh lababs rin kita Pangs eh. Pano ba yan?” I gave her a flirty wink. Ang lande!. “Tayo na kasi!” Ano daw? “Eh, tayo naman na ah!” Pamimilosopo ko. Yan tuloy nabatukan ako. “Gagz ka! I said let’s go!” Sabi nya. “Hmp! Mag-sorry ka muna” I pouted. Binatukan ako ulit. Sige na! I’m the great battered boyfriend. “Sabing hindi nga eh!” Sigaw nya. “Aray-aray! Sige na nga. Oo hindi na.” Pano ba naman eh pinongot ako sa tenga. Wengyang babae ‘to oh!

Tumayo na ako at sinabayan ko sya sa paglalakad pauwi.



“Hindi ka pa rin nagbabago, ano?… May sayad ka pa rin sa utak. Tsk-tsk.” Nakatayo sya malapit sa akin. Naka-crossed arms.

Di nyo naman ako inabiso mga tsong! Nasa riyalidad na pala ako. Nakatulala tuloy ako habang naka-throwback, laglag panga pa, boy!

“Pangs . Ay este, Ellie.” Napatayo ako. “Ano bang iniisip mo? Para kang tanga na nangiti sa hangin.” Luh! Ikaw yung iniisip ko, tai. She chuckled. Good mood ata? “Ah, ano…a-ano…wala…wala lang.” Nilagay ko sa bulsa ko mga kamay ko. Pa-cool lang. She’s still in her old self- I guess. Usual na black shoulder bag, trousers, t-shirt at sneakers. Ang simple pa rin nya. “Aaah.” She uttered. Umupo sya sa isang swing. Bumalik naman ako sa inupuan ko kanina. Pre! AWKWARD!

Bigla siyang tumawa ng mapait.

“Tae. Alam mo bang ang sakit-sakit pa rin?…” She begun. Dinuyan nya ng kaunti yung swing nya. Nakatingin sya sa malayo. I looked at her. Nakangiti sya ng bahagya. She’s the toughest girl that I’ve ever known.

“Ellie…” I uttered. Ba’t ba ang tanga-tanga ko? Bakit? “Wait. Please, let me talk first.” She pleaded. Tumango ako. Eh, ano pa bang pakialam ko kung mapahiya ako ngayon? Deserve ko naman ‘to simula pa lang, di ba? Parang kulang pa eh.

“Ilang ulit kong iniyakan yun. Haha.” She faked a laugh. “…Ilang ulit kitang iniyakan. Ang bobo noh? … pero ang maganda dun, hindi ako nagmukmok sa kwarto. Natakot ako… baka mabaliw lang ako.” She paused. Nilagay nya yung right hand nya sa chest nya. “Mas masakit pala yun noh?… Mas masakit na makitang may kahati ako kesa sa iniwan mo na lang ako.” Tumutulo na yung mga luha nya. I tried to wiped away her tears but…

“Don’t. Please don’t… Kaya ko. I might break down in your arms.” F*ck Kyle, you’re an idiot!  “I’m sorry Ellina.” I uttered-sincerely…face down. “Alam mo namang ayaw na ayaw ko yang phrase or whatsoever na yan, di ba?” Tumango ako. “So sa tatlong types nyan, asan yan dun?… Aah! Alam ko na.” She smirked. “Sinabi mo lang yan para mabawasan yang guilt na nararamdaman mo, tama?” I looked at her straight in the eye. “No. I meant it. Sinabi ko yun kasi seryoso ako na humingi ng kapatawaran. I am sincere, Ellie. I love you… so much.” It may sound gay but I am already crying infront of her. “Ang laki ng regret ko kasi sinaktan kita. I still love you. I swear.” I said. Nakatayo na ako sa harapan nya. Ganito pala kapag takot kang mawala sya ulit, nakakaiyak. Nakakabakla lang eh.

“Alam mo ba kung bakit nasasaktan pa rin ako?… Do you have any idea?” Tanong nya. “…kasi pinapaalala ng presensya ko ang mga ginawa ko?” I guessed. “Hindi. Kasi mahal pa rin kita. Stupid, right?… I still love you, kaya masakit pa rin.”’ Hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong sabihin. Do I need to be happy because she still loves me, or do I need to be sad because she’s hurting? She covered her face to hide her tears. Tumayo sya.

“Yes. I still love you, Kyle.” She said in her softest voice as she held my cheek.

“Can… can I have you back?” Please?… Sige. Ako na ang naghahabol. Ako na ang desperado. “Wait. Pag-iisipan ko muna ‘yan…” So, I do have a chance? Yey! “…hmmm, Sige.” Nanlaki yung mga mata ko sa sinabi nya. THAT. WAS. FAST. Teka, totoo ba talaga ‘to? Pwede paki sapak ako?

“Aray!!!” Sinapak ako ni Ellie. Tae! Ang sakit nun ah! “ Para san naman yun?” Sabi ko habang hinihimas yung sinapak nya. “Akala mo panaginip eh, kaya ginising kita lalo.”

“Pero, totoo talaga?” Iniwas ko yung mukha ko at lumayo ng kaunti sa kanya. Sasapakin nanaman sana nya ako eh. “Gusto mong round two?” Sadista! “Ah. Hinde hinde. Naniniwala na ako.” God, I swear! I really love this girl.

“I love you… and I won’t let you go again. Never.” I kissed her forehead and hugged her. “Wag mo lang sabihin, stupid! Gawin mo!” And she hugged me back. “I will. So, uhm,  gutom ako, date tayo Pangs? Your treat.” Grabe. Parang nagbakasyon lang kami. Haha. Binatukan nya ako. “Bopols! Ako lalake? Ako?!”

“Hinde. Joke lang. Bubusugin kita noh. Lababs kita eh.” I held her hand. “Ows? Talaga?” Binawi nya yung kamay nya. “Well then, buhatin mo ‘ko hanggang sa kakainan natin.” Seryoso ba sya?!

“Hah!?” Takte! Baliw nga! “Nagrereklamo ka?” Nag-crossed arms sya. “Ay. Naku! Hindi ah. Ang gaan-gaan mo kaya. Let’s gooo!” P-in-iggyback ko sya… at nag-ala superman naman ang loka! Yung bag nya sinabit nya sa leeg ko. Pahirapan ba naman ako ng todo? Ala! Sige na. Okay na lang siguro ‘to, kesa naman mawala sya sa’kin ulit.

“Pangs! Bagay sa’yo.” Sabay tawa nya. Sinuot ba naman sa’kin yung clip nyang butterfly na blue? Hindi nya yan ginagamit pero palaging naka-ipit yan sa strap ng bag nya. Sayang daw eh… kaya dekorasyon na lang daw sa bag nya.

“Hey! Take it off. I look stupid.”

“You. Are. Stupid.”She stressed. “Tsaka, Pangs, bagay kaya.” Tumawa sya. Well, atleast she’s happy- that is more than enough for me now.

Chappie 4: Reconcile? Talaga?


Oo na, oo na. Kami na ulit. Kami na ulit. Yung time na tinanong nya kung gusto ko, pumayag ako. I may sound easy to get, loka-loka, pathetic, malandi, or kahit ano pang tawag na pwede mong mapulot kay manong Google. Pero wala akong panahon para mag-inarte pa. No time to be choosy now. Sabi nila, kapag mahal mo wag mong pakawalan, unless the feeling is not mutual. Well, I love him and I know he loves me, too. Hindi naman nya tatanungin yun kung hindi sya sincere eh. Di ba?

Tama! Sinaktan nya ako… Niloko. Ano na nga bang tawag dun? Pangangaliwa? Ah yes, timer. He did that. People do mistakes… but I can forgive someone who sincerely asks for it. Hindi naman ako madamot eh, pero pinipili ko rin naman. So, I gave myself the freedom to be happy again… with him.

We have our own decisions, and there are reasons. Kaso wala na ata akong balak na alamin yung reason nya, wala namang magbabago eh. Open naman akong making eh, just not this time.

Kung may nakuha akong lesson sa buhay, yun ang wag mong hayaang pigilan ka ng sakit na maging masaya. Kasi kung magpapadala ka lang sa sakit, masasayang ang buhay. Hindi mo masusulit ang maging masaya. Gaya na lang ngayon, di ba?

I learned the three types of that “s” word.

  1. Saying it sarcastically
  2. Saying it because of oh-so-effin’ guilt
  3. Saying it with sincereness

I’d love to hear the last one from my hmmm… well…

Maybe, it sounds stupid… kasi ayaw kong sabihin yun. Masyadong cliché? Like what I told you, there are “reasons”.

“Ellina! Ano ba?! Kelan mo ba matatama ‘yan? Will yo do it properly?”, said the man beside me with anger. I froze by his deep masculine voice. Nakakatakot kasi. “Yes, dad. I’m sorry.” I started playing the violin again.


            “Dad, look! Highest po ako sa quiz. Two mistakes lang po.” I showed him my paper proudly. He stared at it. Hindi nya hinawakan o ano man. Tinitigan lang nya. “Two mistakes?!… I want a perfect score, Ellina. I’m not satisfied.” I shifted my big bright smile into a sad pout. Yeah. It wasn’t enough at all. “Yes, dad. I’m sorry. I’ll try harder.” Bumalik sya sa pagharap sa laptop nya, habang ako umalis na nakayuko. I wasn’t enough at all. Jeez. Stupid, Ellina!!!


            PERFECTION. He wanted perfection. Pero shete! Hindi ako perpekto! He wanted me to be the best, not only to do my best. Good. Yan na siguro ang pinakamataas na rate nya sa’kin. To think na perfect ko na yung exam that time ah. Ako ba talaga ang tanga o sya? Kasi, honestly, I can’t be perfect. Walang perfect na tao. As far as I know, wala talaga.

Well, I didn’t hate him that time. Being the naïve and gullible kid that I was, akala ko gusto nya lang na maging magaling ako. I was so proud to be his daughter, because he’s my father. But then, everything that I believed about him vanished. Now I regret saying that apologetic word infront of him everytime I do not meet his f*cking standards. I thought he deserved those. On second thought, hindi naman nya talaga deserve yun.

Yung huling beses akong nagmakaawa at humingi ng lecheng kapatawaran sa kanya eh naalala ko pa rin.

“Mommy! Aalis tayo? Bakit po?” I asked my mom. May bitbit syang maleta at traveling bag. “Magbabakasyon po ba tayo?” Dagdag ko. “Aalis na tayo dito, Ellina.” She said coldly. Nagulat ako. “But… no! Paano na po si daddy? Sasama po sya?” Umiling-iling si mommy. “Eh, sino pong kasama nya?… Daddy! Please stop mommy!” Nasa hagdan lang sya, nakatayo- arms crossed. I run towards him. I hugged him.

“Daddy, please. Stop mommy. Ayoko ko pong umalis. Why? What happened? Dahil po ba hindi ako valedictorian? Dad, sorry po. I’m really sorry kung salutatorian lang ako. Please, let us stay. I’m sorry… I’m sorry, daddy.” I pleaded. Umiiyak ako, at nakayakap pa rin sa kaya. I let him feel how much I loved him… how much I wanted to prove my better self to him. But he turned me down, as if I was some kind of a beggar. Hindi nya ako niyakap. Ni hindi nya sinabing, “Tahan na anak.” He remained standing.

“You need to leave, Ellina. Go with your mom. Hindi mo maiintindihan ang sitwasyon. Just leave.” He said coldly. He tried to unfree his self from my hug. “No! Ayoko. Dad, I promise. Pagbubutihan ko po sa highschool… Hindi ko po kayo bibiguin. I’ll be the first. I’ll be on top. Just please… let us stay. I wanna stay. I’m sorry daddy. I’m sorry.” I said between my sobs.

Ang labo nila! Paano ko maiintindihan kung hindi naman nila ie-explain? They’re so selfish!

“Just go!” He commanded. “Ano Danilo?… Di mo kayang sabihin sa kanya?” Lumapit sa’min ang nanay ko. Ano ba kasing mali? Ano bang dapat kong gawin para matigil ‘to? I never expected this. And I certainly never wanted this.

“Tara na, Ellina. He doesn’t want us here anymore.” I held him tightly. Alam ko na kapag bumitaw ako, hindi ko na ulit sya mayayakap. “No! Ayokong umalis, mommy!” I told her. “Daddy!” Hinila ako ng mommy ko. “Daddy! Don’t you love me anymore?… Don’t you love us?” I stared right into his eyes while I wait him to reply. Please, say it.

“I am sorry, Ellina. I’m sorry.” He retorted. Dear God, that hurt a lot. Galing po kasi yun sa daddy ko. “Ako dapat nagsasabi nyan… not you, daddy. Please! I’m sorry.” My mom held my hand tightly and dragged me out of the house. “Tara na.” I was looking at him while I walk away… hoping… just hoping that he might change his mind.

            I did not hate him that time. Wala namang rason eh. I loved him, and I respected him, too.

So, yeah. We left our house along with my little sister who was 5 years old that time. Umalis kami, at hindi ko manlang alam ang rason kung bakit. Pero nalaman ko rin naman. I saw it with my own eyes. My father had a mistress.

I lost the wit to excel in high school. Eh, bakit pa? the man who wanted me to improve betrayed me already. Ah! Siguro ganun nga talaga. Kung gaano kalaki yung paghanga mo sa isang tao, ganun din yung hatred na kaya mong ibigay sa kanya.Maybe, he didn’t love me at all. Because if he did, he would have uttred “Ilove you” when I asked for it. Sadly, he didn’t.

College na ako, pero di ko pa sya ulit nakikita. Well, wala naman akong plano, pero in case lang na mag-pop out sya bigla, hindi ko sya itatratong tatay. Maybe, if he’ll try to… siguro huling-huli na sya. He’ll be damn too late kasi hindi ko na sya kelangan!

“Ellie…huy!” He snapped. “Op?” Bumalik ako sa riyalidad. ‘problema mo? Di ka ba kakain? Lumingon sya sa likuran nya. “Kakain.” Sagot ko. Hinawakan ko yung fork pero di ako sumubo. “Aah. Nami-miss mo mommy mo?” He asked out of the blue. “hmm. Kind of. Nakakainggit nga yung bata eh, binilhan nung daddy nya ng toy.” Nag-pout ako habang nilalaro yung fork.

“Ow. So, gusto mo ba ng ganun?… Teka. Bilhan kita.” He’s about to get something from his pocket. “Hoy! Loko! Ano ba? Pag nag-drama ba totohanin mo na?” He shrugged his shoulders. “Eh, naiinggit ka dun sa bata eh. Kumain ka na nga, sayang yung spag eh.”

“Opo, mayor.” Nagsimula na akong lantakan yung food. “Oh, di ba? Nakakawala ng lungkot pag-busog ka?” Saad nya. “Oo na. Oo na.”

Nasa Canada si mommy. Nurse sya dun. Naiwan kami ng kapatid ko sa isang apartment malapit sa school, pero kasama naman namin si lola. So, okay lang.

CHAPPIE 5: An Annoyingly Awesome Cousin



    Tulala nanaman kahapon si Pangs. Nagpuyat nanaman siguro. Adik yun sa panonood ng Anime eh. Or baka miss nya lang yung mommy nya. Nasa ibang bansa kasi. Well, buti sa’kin nandito silang dalawa.

Dentist si mama. Si papa driver naman… ng kotse nya papuntang office nya. Haha, loko lang. Empleyado sya ng isang kompanya.

Actually, hindi ko pa nakikita yung dad ni Ellie. Hindi pa sya nagku-kwento tungkol sa kanya. She barely talks about her personal life. Ni rason nya kung bakit di sya marunong mag-sorry eh di ko rin alam.

Ewan ko ba dun! Ang dali lang naman sabihin nun eh. S. O. R. R. Y. Sorry! Oh, di ba? sabagay, okay lang naman sa’kin. Lababs ko naman eh. Hindi ko na sya ulit ipagpapalit pa. I don’t want to see her in pain again. She’s my Pangs!

“KUYA!!!” Nagulat ako sa sigaw nya. “Mamamatay tao ka! Papatayin mo ba ’ko?” Asar kong sabi. “Hindi ah! Adik. Ano bang ginagawa mo dyan sa harap ng salamin?” Sumandal sya sa pinto ko at nag-crossed arms. “Nagpapa-gwapo.” Sagot ko sabay sinuklay yung buhok ko gamit yung kamay ko. Busy ako sa ginagawa ko kaya di ko sya nilingon. “Asus! Nagmo-monologue ka mo!… Tama na yan. Gwapo ka na eh.”

“Alam ko. Sinisigurado ko lang, baka sumobra eh… Teka, kanina ka pa dyan?…” she nodded. Paktay!  “Eh di narinig mo yung speech tungkol kay Pangs?” Nagkamot ako ng batok. Tumango sya. “Omo! Kayo na ulit?” Masaya nyang tanong. “Oo.” Masaya ko ring sagot. “Wag mo na yung pakawalan. Gusto ko syang maging sister-in-law.” Jeez. ‘Tong batang ‘to talaga. “Masyado kang atat, boy! Pero pupunta rin tayo dyan.

Hinay-hinay lang.” Kakulet talaga nito!  “Oo ba.”

“Eh, ba’t ka nandito?” Tanong ko. Kita mo, nakalimutan ko pang tanungin yan. “Ah! Nga pala kuya. Pinapatawag ka ni tita. Breakfast na kaya ‘noh.” Uy! Oo nga pala. “Ah. Oo. Sige. Sige. Bababa na ako.” Saad ko. “Okay—“ Aalis na sana sya pero huminto sya bigla. “Bababa?… Teka, eh wala naman tayong hagdan ah. Wala tayong second floor kuya. ‘Wag kang mangarap. Adik lang?” ‘Tang-na! Na-imagine ko kasi yung kasal namin ni Pangs eh. Napasobra ata.  Bopols ka Kyle! Umagang-umaga natatanga dahil sa babaeng yun.

            “Ahaha! Oo nga. Sabi ko nga. Ahaha. Sensya na, nadala lang. Eh, malay mo may ihulog si Lord sa bubong natin diba?” Biro ko. “ Hays! Ewan ko sa’yo kuya. Buti di kita kapatid, kundi tinakwil na kita. Tsk! Malala ka na.” Umalis sya na umiiling-iling. “Aba’t! Loko yun ah! Ang sama!” I shouted. Alam ba nya yung term na JOKE? Eh common sense, meron sya?

            Yeah. Hindi ko yun kapatid. Cousin ko lang si Lian. Kapatid ni mama yung mommy nya. Dito na sya sa’min tumira at lumaki. Her mom died when she was five… at yung tatay nya? Walang nakakaalam kung saang eskenita nagbe-benta ng shabu. Loko lang! Pero seryoso, hindi talaga namin alam kung san nagsusuot yun.

Nako tsong! Gutom na pala ako.


“Sir, kelangan na po ba next Friday yung materials?” Tanong nung ka-klase ko. “Yes, of course. Kaya dapat kumpleto na. Each pair kelangan may materials. I need your outputs next meeting.” Nag-nod kami.

“Kyle! Psst!” Sitsit sakin ni Pangs. Nilingon ko sya. “Op?” tanong ko. “Pwedeng ikaw na lang bumili ng mga gamit? Kelangan kong umuwi nga maaga eh. Hati na lang tayo sa bayad.” Tumango ako. “Ah, sige sige. Hoy! Okay ka lang ba? Ba’t pawis na pawis ka dyan?” Nasa likuran ko lang kasi sya. “Oo. I’m okay. Ang init kaya. Di mo dama?” Sabay paypay nya gamit yung kamay nya. Umiling ako. “Hindi naman. Makapal lang siguro talaga yang bilbil mo kaya mainit.” Pang-aasar ko. “ Aba’t! Kala mo naman may abs ka dyan.” Tss! Yun pa ba? “Tai! Oo na. Panalo ka na. Wala na akong abs. Masaya ka na?” Ngumiti sya ng malapad. “Sobra. Hahaha.” Abah! Dinilatan pa ako! Loko talaga ‘to. Tsk tsk. Eh, teka, ano naman kung wala akong abs? Sya nga nagsabi na hindi sya mahilig sa abs, tapos nilalait-lait nya ako. Baliw talaga.

“Hoy!” Tawag ko sa kanya. “Ano? Laban ka pa?” Nakangiti sya. “Hindi. Pero gusto mo hatid muna kita bago ako bumili ng materials?” Naisip ko, mahal ko pa rin ‘to kahit wagas makaasar. Tsaka ang babaw kapag pinalaki ko pa yun. Hindi naman big deal eh. MATURED KYLE entering…. Hehe. “Hindi na kelangan.” She smiled slightly. “Sige.”

Magfa-five na nung makauwi ako sa bahay. I opened the door. “Kyle, ikaw ba ‘yan anak?” tanong ni Papa. “Opo.” Nakita kong nakaupo sa couch ang erpat kong busy sa laptop nya. Papasok na sana ako sa room ko nang magsalita ulit sya. “May gagawin ka ba?” Napaisip ako. “Wala naman Pa.” Sagot ko. “Can you please fetch your mom? Nag day-off yung driver nya eh. Gabi na rin. Nag-aalala ako.” Napangiti ako. I love my family.

“Ah Sige Pa.” He gave me his car keys. Phew! Alam ko mag-drive! Nukaba? May driver’s licence na po ako. So no need to panic guys.

After 20 minutes nakarating na’ko sa ospital. Di-nial ko yung number ni Ellie. Sumagot naman sya agad.

“Pangs, bakit?” Wika nya sa kabilang linya. “Asan ka? Nakauwi ka na ba?” sunod-sunod kong tanong. Gusto ko lang i-check kung okay lang sya. “Hah?…Uy! Wait. Call me later. May kausap lang ako. Text kita. Okay?” Mukha syang nagmamadali. “Sige.” She hanged up. Anong meron?

Minsan napapaisip ako kung bakit pumayag sya agad. Hindi mo mai-aalis sa’kin na matakot, kasi sinaktan ko sya, kaya hindi malabong ginagantihan nya ako. Pero mas okay na siguro ‘to. Atleast, I’m showing her that I want to prove myself to her- my better self. Kaya kung gagantihan nya man ako, okay lang. Basta makasama ko lang sya.

I dialed my mother’s number…

“Ma, asa office ka ba? Nasa lobby ako.” Tanong ko sa kanya. “Yes. Come here. May box akong ipapabuhat sa’yo. Make it fast.” Sagot nya. “Okay.” Woo! Si mama talaga oh. Magkaka-muscle na siguro ako nyan noh? Tanga Kyle! May muscle ka na! Lahat ng tao may muscle! Ano ka? Piro buto-buto lang?

Naglakad ako sa alley papunta sa office ni mama. A door burst open, and then I saw her…

“Pangs?” Nagtataka kong tanong. “Pangs!” Gulat nyang sabi. “Anong ginagawa mo dito?” Sabay naming tanong. “Si mama kasi./Ah, ano kasi…”

“Oh. Napano mama mo?” Tanong nya na may pag-aalala. “Dentist sya dito, remember? Susunduin ko lang.” Napangiti sya. “Waah! Oo nga pala!” Natatawa nyang sabi. “Eh, ikaw? Akala ko umuwi ka na?”

“Ha? Ah, kasi…ano…” Lumabas bigla sa pinto yung kapatid nya. “Oh, kuya Kyle!” Gulat din syang makita ako. Teka! Pansin ko lang, mukha ba akong zombie para bigyan nila ako ng ganyang reaksyon?

“Ah, kasi may sinat kanina si Gail. Kaya napaaga ang uwi ko kasi ipapa-check up ko pa. mahirap na noh.” Inakbayan nya si Gail. “Ganun ba?” Tumango sya. “Eh, okay ka na ba?” tanong ko kay gail. “Hah? Kuya?…ah, oo. Niresetahan na ako ng gamot.”

“Oh, sige Pangs. Uwi na kami. Hinihintay pa kami ni lola eh. Baka kasi di makatiis, makipagtanan bigla. Haha. Pati ikaw. Your mom is waiting. Ba-bye na.” She waved. Bago pa ako maka-react, naglakad na sila palayo.

“Ano daw ate? Ano yun?…” That’s the last thing that I’ve heard bago pa sila tuluyang makalayo. I just shrugged my shoulders and headed to my mother’s office.

There might be typos and incorrect grammar so please bear with my story. Thank you. I’ll continue posting other chapters next time. 🙂

Posted in Amateur Writer, Novel, Story

Happy Ending? Joke Ka Ba?

This is the not-so-pro novel that I wrote. I used English and Filipino language here, so I apologize for those who won’t understand the story. I just hope that someone who can read both language will read this story and like it. That’s the best feeling for an author: to have a reader. Thank you very much and God bless everyone. 🙂



       I touched the bell above me. It made a tingling sound but slowly fading.


       I got up from bed and observed the room-punung-puno ng posters at drawings…mostly are anime, but some sketches are me. SHE DREW ME.


       I bowed my head and put my hands on my face- trying so hard to hide my tears from my own self.

       That crazy girl! I missed her so much. I want to put back the time where I could still stay by her side for so long. I hurt her feelings when I liked someone even though we’re still together. She slapped me hard- well, I deserved that.

       I am full of regrets. Ang dami kong sinayang na panahon! If I had not left that day, will I still stay by her side?… I wish I could just choose to forget her. But I can’t! That crazy, hot-headed girl, sheesh! I love her.

       I just wanted her to apologize for causing this PAIN.

       She said “sorry” is for those who deserves it. So, do I deserve hers?