Posted in Uncategorized

Bagong Kwento

Ikaw iyong napaginipan ko nung isang gabi. Yung lalaking humawak sa kamay ko habang nakangiti. Hindi ko alam kung bakit napangiti rin ako. Basta pakiramdam ko malapit ka sa akin, kasing-lapit ng palad mo sa palad ko. Kita ko ang mga mata mo habang nakapikit ang akin. Kita ko ang mga ngiti mo habang yung labi ko naglalaway na ata. Pagtapos nun, dumating na ang umaga. Dumating ang malamig na umaga, kasabay ng mainit na sinag ng araw at pagmulat ko, pagbukas ng inaantok ko pang mga mata, wala ka na. Hindi ko na maaninag ang iyong mukha. Hindi ko na maramdaman iyong koneksyon natin habang ako ay nakapikit. Tila ba binawi ng paggising ko ang katotohanang hindi totoo ang mga nakita ko. Tila ba sinampal ako sa riyalidad na sa panaginip ka lang magiging totoo. At oo, sa panaginip nga lang tayo nagkatagpo.
Pero sana, ngayong pinatuloy ko ang bagong taon kasabay ng paggising ng bagong umaga, sana makita kita. Sana tumuloy ka rin para magkaroon tayo ng tulay at magkatagpo sa gitna ng lahat ng ito– sa gitna ng gulo, sa gitna ng riyalidad at ilusyon ko.

Sana magkita tayo habang nakamulat ang pareho nating mga mata, nakangiti ang mga labi at magkahawak ang mga kamay.

Walang pag-aalinlangan kung ang lahat ba ng ito ay sadyang panaginip lang. Walang pangamba na baka bukas, paggising ko wala ka na– naman.

Sana ito na yung bagong kwento na magbubukas ng mas magandang pinto, magsusulat ng mas magandang libro at maglilipat ng bagong pahina. Sana ito na iyong pagkakataon natin para sa riyalidad na magtagpo at hindi na lang sa panaginip.
Ngayong bagong taon, sana dumating ka na. Sana buksan mo na ang pinto ng puso kong walang susi. Sana ikaw na iyon.

Sana… minamahal kong hinaharap.


In celebration of New Year! 2017 hooray! GOD BLESS US ALL EVERYONE! ♥♥♥

Posted in To the people who love...

Your Holy Birthday

We’ve been celebrating Christmas for years. We all have the feeling of excitement as we welcome that moment. Every person seem to enjoy the idea of having fun during that specific day in December. We love the Christmas spirit.
Children sing songs infront of our homes as they create music using improvised cymbals and tambourine. They anticipate midnight because of the variety of mouth-watering food on top of the table. But then somewhere between those smiles and hugs that we see during that day, somewhere between the gifts and money that we give and receive, we seemed to forget the essence why Christmas happens. Do we still remember why?

Sure. It is utterly fun when our relatives and friends gather in order to celebrate together. But do we still remember why Christmas even started?
We’re having fun, exchanging gifts and hugs with our loved ones, but on the process, we forgot Jesus.

Jesus, the Son of God, is the reason Christmas happened and is still happening. Jesus Christ, who died on the cross to give us all salvation, was born in order for us to live an eternal life.
We should thank Him for loving us. We should celebrate Christmas, reminding ourselves that Jesus Christ died and lived again. We should be thankful that because of Jesus Christmas, we all have a reason to give and receive love. We all have a opportunity to be with the people that we treasure even just for a limited time. It is Lord Jesus who binds everyone. He binds us with love, because He is the beloved Son of God.
As long as the Love of God is felt in this world, Christmas will always be meaningful and lovely.

We are forever blessed. ♥

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Posted in To this broken heart...

On KPOP and KDRAMA

Right. You’re treating that hobby as a way to escape from your misery, right? You are always sad that’s why when you saw that door and walked in, you were fascinated by the colors or hues that you’ve never seen before. Sure. It’s an escape route from your reality. You are staring at the black and gray shaded life that you’ve been miserably living, then you face the other side and notice that rainbow light coming from that door. It’s as if the rainbow fills up the neutral and boring shade of your life.
All those dancers, singers and artists that make you scream in awe and amazement are the sole reason that help you forget about your own problems even just for a bit. They seem to make you feel alive more than ever. They seem to be your new source of hope to smile and live. All those dramas that you anticipate to watch make you feel like you were one of the characters as well and for a moment, you feel that it does feel good to live like that.
These make you feel like another person, a lot more different from the real one and a lot better than in reality. But heed this as an unsollicited advice, friend. It’s not a crime to open that door and sneak in, but don’t stay there for too long as if it became your life already. Don’t forget that reality is different from fiction. Don’t live your life inside a story that was and will only be an escape route from reality. Don’t make it your reality because there’s a fat chance that the door will be locked and you won’t find any key to open it anymore. Thus, you might not be able to come out. And as the imagination fills up your reality, it devours your soul as well. Never let that happen.

Focus! Remember your reality.

Posted in To the end of life...

Farewell to a Musician

It is really sad to know that you’re already gone. The memory of our last conversation still lingers in my mind. It was the time when my other grandpa died and you were the one who played the piano for him. That was only three months ago. Now, you are the one who’s lying in that wooden box painted with white and gold, surrounded with white flowers– cold and breathless.
Yes. There will be no big and chubby old man who’ll visit us whenever he wanted. There will be no old guy who’ll play the piano for the dead and living as awesome as you. There will be no one as good as you.
I wish we could have had a different reason to talk to each other. I wish it is anything but about someone who died. I could wish for more.

I could wish endlessly but I know I’d still be hopeless because wishes sometimes remain as mere wishes.

They can never be brought to reality. They can never be brought to life… just like you.
Now, as I end this message, I am wishing you a good night and a good rest… forever. I love you, Lolo.

SOUNDCLOUD: STAY WITH ME (찬열, 펀치)

Listen to CHANYEOL, PUNCH (찬열, 펀치) – Stay With Me [Goblin OST Part 1] by L2ShareOST11 #np on #SoundCloud

I am so into this song right now. It makes me feel nostalgic even if I haven’t actually watched the drama (Goblin). I just love how Punch and Chanyeol’s voice blend well at the chorus part. The rap’s really good as well. I was wondering for a monent if I was really listening to an OST or was actually listening to another song of EXO. I don’t why but Chanyeol’s voice just reminds me that he’s a part of EXO and his good rapping skills and vocals add up into that. I think that’s unavoidable. Punch and Chen’s Everytime (Descendants of the Sun OST) is as better as this. I really love it! Great song! ♥♥♥
Stay With Me… please?

Posted in A blog, blog, To the end of life...

GROWN

Maybe that’s the inevitable part of growing up. You tend to become too emotional– more emotional than when you were a cry baby. As you grow old, every tear that will fall from those eyes will mean something more than a plea for some milk. Maybe the reason’s about a barely failing relationship. Or it can be about a dying family member. No. Maybe, it will be about your own guilt about every bit of mistake that you’ve done and that you can never undo anymore.
I told you. People become more emotional while growing up. But at the end of the entire process, you might not feel anything anymore. You might feel like you accomplished nothing all through out your whole life. But you won’t care because you can’t do anything anymore. That’s the moment when we forgot everything… and we die silently and slowly without feeling anything emotional. We die as our memories in this wrecked world die with us.

Posted in To the people who love..., To the people who still feel pain...

Cupid’s Target

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Yes. Love seems to be killing me.

I was too naive to believe to those fantasy stories we usually hear before going to sleep. I was too innocent to think that I can be a princess, a queen or even a damsel in distress.
Rarely in our life do we realize the reality and more often than not, we rely on illusions.

Love might be some kind of magical spell that conspires anyone to be under its spell. Maybe, the weak ones fall for it so easily.

But I believed that I’m not weak. I believed I’m better. Truthfully, I cannot afford to accept defeat.
I’m not sure if it was my pride or I was just afraid.
Yes. I do love the idea of love but I didn’t like the idea of falling.
Thus, when I found myself under the spell, I realized how weak I was. I realized how powerful love is that it can make someone sane enough go insane. I was almost there.
I felt the slow piercing of arrow on my chest. It went deeper into my skin as it hurt more. Everything around me became nothing but a blur. I was slowly devoured by that pain. It went slowly as if prolonging my agony. I wish I’d go numb.
It surprises me how good Cupid is when it comes to this job. He shoots arrow really well that he doesn’t even think twice who to shoot and when to shoot. I was still under that poisonous spell and I don’t think I’ll be able to break it.
I was trying to contain the agonizing pain, wishing it’ll end. If I’d have a chance next time, I will make sure that Cupid will miss shooting my heart.

Nagmamahal Din Ang Hangin

Hindi na siguro maiiwasan sa ating mundo na minsan makakaligtaan natin ang mga bagay na palagi lang nating nakakasalamuha. Minsan, ang mga bagay na dapat sana ay binibigyang pansin at halaga, ang mga iyon pa ang nakakalimutan nating pahalagahan. Siguro nga likas na sa tao ang mas mahalin ang mga bagay na hindi naman kamahal-mahal. Siguro likas na sa atin na mas mapansin ang mga bagay na nakakapanakit. Naaalala pa ba natin kahit isang beses man lang sa isang araw ang hangin?
Katulad din ng tao, nagmamahal din ang hangin. Ang bawat paghalik nito sa ating pisngi ang nagbibigay hudyat na nangungulila ito ng pansin– nangungulila ng pagpapahalaga na matagal ng kinalimutan ng tao. Ang pagsayaw nito sa pagitan ng mga damo at iba pang halaman ang nagpapakita ng saya na nadarama nya. Pero ngayon, tila napalitan na iyon ng kalungkutan at galit. Napalitan ang galak ng galit, kung kaya’t ang pagaspas lang dati ay isang malakas na hampas na ngayon sa katauhan ng bagyo at buhawi. Wala na nga sigurong pagmamahal ang nadarama ng hangin. Ito siguro ang dahilan kung bakit ang dating rason kung bakit tayo humihinga pa ay isa na rin sa dahilan kung bakit karamihan sa atin ay naghihingalo na.
Panipis na ng panipis ang hangin. Marumi na rin ito. Alam ko at alam ko ring alam nyo rin ito. Kagagawan ng tao ang bagay na ito, pero minsan naisip ko na siguro ito rin ang paraan ng hangin para maghiganti– para maipakitang kailangan din nya ng pansin, para ipakitang kaya rin nyang makapanakit dahil masakit sa pakiramdam na hindi na pinapahalagahan ang halaga nya.
Sa tingin ko, maihahalintulad ang pagmamahal ng hangin sa pagmamahal ng isang taong may lihim na pagtingin sa isang tao. Oo.Masasabi kong matamis magmahal ang hangin dahil sa una ang tanging rason lang ng kanyang pananatili sa mundo ay para mabuhay tayo– tayong mga tao.

Mamahalin ka nya kahit pa hindi mo maalala na nandyan sya o ni hindi mo alam na mahal ka nya.
Mamahalin ka nya kahit wala kapalit.

Nandyan sya dahil kailangan mo sya. Nandyan sya kahit hindi mo sya nakikita.
Ngunit dumating na sa puntong napabayaan mo yung bagay na minamahal ng hangin– ikaw.Napunta na sa puntong napabayaan mo ang sarili mo at ang paligid mo, kaya ang resulta, pati ang hangin nadamay na rin. Hindi ba’t nakakalungkot ding isipin na ang isang nagmamahal ng palihim ay nasasaktan din ng palihim?
Sirang-sira na sya. Habang palalang-palala ang sakit na dinulot mo sa kanya, pati ikaw palalang-pala na rin. Kahit pa malaman mo ang kalagayan nya, tila huling-huli ka na. Tila ba wala ng pag-asa para maibsan manlang ang sakit na dinulot natin sa hangin dahil sa dulo ng lahat ng ito, parang hindi mo pa rin sya kayang mahalin.
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*excerpts from Umigib ng Pag-ibig (Journal) 2016