I’ve heard that almost every one celebrate father’s day. But then, among all the people who feel giddy about it, I feel different. How could I? How would I thank someone who stopped his role as my father in a long time? How would I greet him when I he already left in the long run of this twisted plot of our lives?
Papa God, I still couldn’t see him as that respectable man, just like before. It’s hard to give it to someone when he doesn’t even deserve it in the first place. Am I bad?
I must forgive right? I did. I think I did… didn’t I? I just can’t forget the drastic turn of events cause by him.
Does he feel bad? Does he even care if I don’t acknowledge him as my dad? But You are my Father, and You deserve love and praise more than any one in this world.
Remember when I first took my first breath and You heard my very first heartbeat? Well, I don’t remember. But my Life Coaches have told me that You already loved me even before I was born. Do You know how overwhelming and fluttering that is? Great God, thank You for loving me even if I couldn’t even love myself (sometimes).
I am in pain. But I still acknowledge the fact that I am mean.
God, do You recall when I made my mother cry because I said the mean things to her? I hurt her really bad. I made her really upset.
When my sister and I fight, I know that You are watching. I know as well that it doesn’t please You. I am sorry God.
As a kid, I spent those early years as a happy child… because I had my dad, my mom and my sister… and a bunch of ice creams and fried chickens. Haha. But then, You let me experience the madness and hatred in this world God. You made me see the truth behind those lies that I believe in. You made me closer to You.
If the replacement of my dad’s sudden leave from our life is a deepen relationship with You, then I don’t regret anything. I don’t regret him leaving or him hurting us. Because I was able to meet You, be with You and be loved by You. It’s more precious than that of my dad’s love.
Through out the years, I know that You guided me. You gave me an assurance that You won’t forsake me. Even though I take a wrong path, at some point, You still believe in me and direct to the right road.
God, my heavenly Father, You deserve my love more than anyone. I love You! And I am sorry, that as Your child, I most of the time commit mistakes and want to quit. I deeply apologize.
Thank You, dear God, for loving me. I couldn’t even fathom that love– love that is so great.
I love you! Happy Father’s day.
loving You forever,