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College?

I remember dreaming to graduate with honors in Elementary. Then, I actually succeeded making it happen. After that I entered High School and I dreamed a simple dream: To graduate. I don’t know. It is just that my perception about life changed suddenly. Life became harder and more challenging. I needed to cope up with its tests. Afraid of losing the fight, I aimed smaller dreams instead of wanting for bigger ones. I was too afraid to fall without even reaching the level that was higher than my past dreams.

After four long years, I was able to hit that mark. I reached my dream. Yeah. I graduated in High school. I needed to leave the friends that I included as my family. I needed to leave the things that I was used to do and have. I know I was bound to start all over again. That’s the time that I started getting scared again. When I enrolled in a different University- a much bigger Institution than my former beloved University- random thoughts started popping out of my mind. What-ifs and what-nows kept on disturbing my inner thoughts. I was afraid that I couldn’t adjust easily.

I am aware of the fact that College is much more different than High school. More vacants but more work. I might have a failing grade and no too-good instructor will pity me and pass me. I am afraid that I couldn’t have the same good friends that I had back in high school days. I am afraid that I couldn’t trust anyone there.Amidst of my fears and doubts, I stepped inside that University and accepted that bold challenge.

I was used to live alone when I was still in high school. My mom trained us(my sister and I) to do chores alone. She’ll send us money and we’ll budget it for a whole week. No. It’s not a torture, or some kind of punishment that we need to suffer. It is way for us to learn how to become independent at such a young age.

At the age of 12, I learned to wash clothes, cook my own meals and prepare my things before going to school. In a positive way, it helped me learn a truth in life: Few years from now, kids will need solitude.

Well, where was I?… Ah! Yes. College. I faced College, repeating that mantra, “I can do this… with God. I can.” The first day of school came. I have to forget about Summer vacation and focus in my studies.

I was used to live alone. I was used to sleep, cook, eat, and study by myself. But then, this time was much different than what I was used to. I had to adjust. I accept the reality that I’d meet different people with different personalities and status in life. So, I really did meet them.

I met my roommates. It felt like I was in a variety show and that I need to become my 4D self( Alien-like and jolly self). I am a happy person but I can’t change the fact that like any other people, I have a fair share of imperfections and problems in life. I am a person after all.

They were such wonderful people. And I really thanked God for blessing me with these kind of people who make someone be her own unique and awesome self. Back in high school, I was an introvert. I was being bullied when I was first year, and maybe, it was the main reason why I had a hard time to make myself comfortable with other people. I was an introvert and I only had limited but great friends. But now, I met many…inside and outside that four-cornered room in a apartment-like Dormitory.Five unnies (older sisters) and four fellow dongsaengs (younger siblings). We were like a family. I learned to be my jolly and crazy self. I forgot about the fears and doubts. I was enjoying every moment of it. I learned to have a big dream… and I learned to include them in my prayers- that all of us will reach every small and big dreams that we long to have in God’s will.

I felt love and joy during the 2 week stay inside that room. I enjoyed it and I want to enjoy it more. I am sorry. I really suck at expressing my emotions properly. But, I am happy.

Classes scared me, too. But then, our Great God blessed me with people who could help me face every boring and enjoyable class that I attend to. I met awesome young ladies that I already counted as friends. They were good people who are, like me, have imperfections and problems in life. I believe that struggles are part of living, though. I am thankful that there are struggles which turn into blessings. I hope ours are one of them.

I admit, I hesitated when I picked my course. But then, I learned to accept and love it. Because of it, I started to gain self-confidence. I allowed myself to be a part of the amazing people who can express their thoughts through writing and speaking. I believe that I am bound to be here and make a difference. I believe that I am fated to meet them. I know that God is in control and He is making every page of this awesomely written story of mine to be remarkable.

With that, I dedicate to Him my dreams which are probably His dreams for me as well.

To God be all the glory!

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Author:

writer | blogger | reader | staffer | lover | eater | worshiper Shayeness is a 19-year-old gal born in the year 1998. She's from the Philippines and a pure Filipina. Currently, she's studying at a university where in she takes BS in Development Communication and is in her third year in college. Shayeness writes poems, stories, essays and even songs. She's in love with words. She blogs her works here (wordpress) and in tumblr. Aside from writing, she also loves reading, given that this is where she started having the heart to write. She's also a campus journalist and working at their university's official publication as the feature editor. Aside from writing she's a lover of a lot of things as well, especially cupcakes and cute things. She loves eating a lot but hates junk foods. She's a Christian and she serves God through the worship ministry where in she plays the keyboard (piano). Her personal dream is to someday publish a novel or a book of poem at least once in her life but also pursue her plans (well she doesn't have any yet). She's still thinking if she'd be a disc jockey, a journalist, a layout artist, a reporter, a director or an office-mate. Her chosen course has a lot to offer. It's hard to choose. The important thing is, she plans to have a job.

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