I remember dreaming to graduate with honors in Elementary. Then, I actually succeeded making it happen. After that I entered High School and I dreamed a simple dream: To graduate. I don’t know. It is just that my perception about life changed suddenly. Life became harder and more challenging. I needed to cope up with its tests. Afraid of losing the fight, I aimed smaller dreams instead of wanting for bigger ones. I was too afraid to fall without even reaching the level that was higher than my past dreams.
After four long years, I was able to hit that mark. I reached my dream. Yeah. I graduated in High school. I needed to leave the friends that I included as my family. I needed to leave the things that I was used to do and have. I know I was bound to start all over again. That’s the time that I started getting scared again. When I enrolled in a different University- a much bigger Institution than my former beloved University- random thoughts started popping out of my mind. What-ifs and what-nows kept on disturbing my inner thoughts. I was afraid that I couldn’t adjust easily.
I am aware of the fact that College is much more different than High school. More vacants but more work. I might have a failing grade and no too-good instructor will pity me and pass me. I am afraid that I couldn’t have the same good friends that I had back in high school days. I am afraid that I couldn’t trust anyone there.Amidst of my fears and doubts, I stepped inside that University and accepted that bold challenge.
I was used to live alone when I was still in high school. My mom trained us(my sister and I) to do chores alone. She’ll send us money and we’ll budget it for a whole week. No. It’s not a torture, or some kind of punishment that we need to suffer. It is way for us to learn how to become independent at such a young age.
At the age of 12, I learned to wash clothes, cook my own meals and prepare my things before going to school. In a positive way, it helped me learn a truth in life: Few years from now, kids will need solitude.
Well, where was I?… Ah! Yes. College. I faced College, repeating that mantra, “I can do this… with God. I can.” The first day of school came. I have to forget about Summer vacation and focus in my studies.
I was used to live alone. I was used to sleep, cook, eat, and study by myself. But then, this time was much different than what I was used to. I had to adjust. I accept the reality that I’d meet different people with different personalities and status in life. So, I really did meet them.
I met my roommates. It felt like I was in a variety show and that I need to become my 4D self( Alien-like and jolly self). I am a happy person but I can’t change the fact that like any other people, I have a fair share of imperfections and problems in life. I am a person after all.
They were such wonderful people. And I really thanked God for blessing me with these kind of people who make someone be her own unique and awesome self. Back in high school, I was an introvert. I was being bullied when I was first year, and maybe, it was the main reason why I had a hard time to make myself comfortable with other people. I was an introvert and I only had limited but great friends. But now, I met many…inside and outside that four-cornered room in a apartment-like Dormitory.Five unnies (older sisters) and four fellow dongsaengs (younger siblings). We were like a family. I learned to be my jolly and crazy self. I forgot about the fears and doubts. I was enjoying every moment of it. I learned to have a big dream… and I learned to include them in my prayers- that all of us will reach every small and big dreams that we long to have in God’s will.
I felt love and joy during the 2 week stay inside that room. I enjoyed it and I want to enjoy it more. I am sorry. I really suck at expressing my emotions properly. But, I am happy.
Classes scared me, too. But then, our Great God blessed me with people who could help me face every boring and enjoyable class that I attend to. I met awesome young ladies that I already counted as friends. They were good people who are, like me, have imperfections and problems in life. I believe that struggles are part of living, though. I am thankful that there are struggles which turn into blessings. I hope ours are one of them.
I admit, I hesitated when I picked my course. But then, I learned to accept and love it. Because of it, I started to gain self-confidence. I allowed myself to be a part of the amazing people who can express their thoughts through writing and speaking. I believe that I am bound to be here and make a difference. I believe that I am fated to meet them. I know that God is in control and He is making every page of this awesomely written story of mine to be remarkable.
With that, I dedicate to Him my dreams which are probably His dreams for me as well.
To God be all the glory!