The SENSE of LIVING is DYING.
The SENSE of DYING is LIVING.
It is as if we were bound to feel pain and death, because that way we were able to realize that life do exist. Yes. People die, and Jet Black said that Man always thinks about his past before he dies, as if he is frantically searching for proof that he truly lived. I guess he’s right. We think about the sweet and painful past to make ourselves believe that breathing wasn’t just a dream after all.
However, it still seems to be really hard to believe its existence. Most of us weren’t sure where people would go after they die, is it up there? Or beneath the ground?
Well, what’s the purpose of breathing anyway? I once read a quote from the internet that we shouldn’t just exist. We must live. But isn’t breathing living already? Honestly speaking, no. Breathing is just a process, an uncontrollable process, while living, it is a choice.
I was so afraid of dying before, because I was so attached to the things man had made. I was also afraid of my fate, in hell or in heaven? I was not certain before.
I tried my best to avoid the reality that I might die. However, I died in the end. It wasn’t a pitiful nor painful death though. I died in the most amazing and enchanting way. It was a happy ending.
My fate of dying occurred because of a certain thing that I am sure you are familiar with. Well, before that, I’ll tell you my life before I died.
I WAS LOST. I did not know what to do in this mortal hell or fallen world. While its falling, it felt like I was falling with it, too. I was so afraid. I commit mistakes, shortcomings, sins and other stuffs that is truly not right. Yes, I was indeed breathing, but it feels like I was slowly dying. I wasn’t sure of what I really wanted…what I’ll pursue, dreams, goals and the likes. I felt useless!
But then, He came, and I was saved from being miserable and lost. I got afraid at first, but then I slowly held His hand. It felt safe. I feel safe.
When I surrendered my past self to Him, He made me new. My old self died and I was born again. It was not a painful death for me. I died for the better. I chose to die in order to live. Is ist too complicated?
I found out that living is about searching for the Truth, the Way and the Life. However, in my case, He was the one who found me.
His love is so powerful that He makes it a point that I feel it everyday. I feel it through my mother, my sister, my dear friends and other people who care for me. Living again is really awesome. It seems like I didn’t die at all. Now, I am not afraid of dying anymore, because I am aware where I’ll go. His presence washes away my fears. I gain strength, and when I die, real death, I will be fine beside Him, at last!♥
*from my HTML project