Posted in To the people who love...

Downfalls: Falling in Love

Falling in love… is easy. But falling while trying to give trust is hard.


I once read in one of my favorite novels that “to be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved“. How can you love someone if you can’t trust him?

TRUST. A big part of loving. I think, trust breaks first before the heart. Trusting is not all about yourself, it is about you and the one you love. That You and I. US.

We feel pain whenever we fall for someone. But does it always matter if you suffer now? Like trust, pain is also a part of loving. Like what John Green said, “Pain demands to be felt.” So, it does enters our life. It makes your story tragic but awesome at the same time. Every tear that flows from your eyes…every word that comes from your mouth every time you scream… It is all about the pain that you are suffering. But believe me when I say that at the end of the day, when things seem to be alright, you realize that you are still happy because of that one awesome man whom you cherish.

There will be twists and turns…ups and downs… but stay strong and believe. There will be downfalls, problems and mistakes. That is the reality of being a fool in love. Never give up because you are too tired. Don’t waste that long walk that you took for some petty reasons. Hold his hand and never let it go, because your awesome end awaits.

“Keep on believing that out of all the billions of damn humans who are currently breathing on this fallen world, there is someone who will love you awesome-ly.”♥

I still believe in that no matter how I suffer pain. I hope that you do, too.

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Posted in Perfectionists

Imperfections?

Frankly speaking, I hate perfectionists! They act as if they never commit mistakes. They are the kind of people who notice mistakes  rather than improvements. They’re one of the reason why only few fellows know that they are fine… that mistakes are just part of life. They degrade other people. I don’t understand why people do such things. They are so cruel to force somebody to become perfect. Things happen for a reason. There are mistakes and downfalls because there’s a reason why they have to encounter them. They need to learn.

Their way to thinking is WAY too critical that their brains begin to coil. They don’t seem to be happy at all. They always frown because no one can meet their standards…high standards. Why? Are they perfect? They are just perfectionists… not perfect humans. They aren’t happy. Why do they need to witness perfect things if they can’t make them happy?

“I think imperfections leads to happiness…like loving his flaws or accepting defeat and trying again.”

Imperfections are mere examples of things that people commit in order to find happiness. When someone is perfect (but I know no one is), then he didn’t do anything to become happy. His life is useless.

We are not perfect, nor nearly perfect. Dude! There’s no such thing!

Posted in One Damn Shot

Tik ,Tok, Tik!

Have you ever wondered if you already met your soul mate or destiny? Or do you even believe in these kind of stuffs?


Destiny. Soul mate. True love. Happy ending. FOREVER.

Trust. I always believe in true love. Trusting that it will lead my story into a happier ending. I am too young to understand the simple things in life, and I always rely on other’s story-believing that I can have that kind of story, too. But then, the reality of life is really cruel. Everyone’s story is unique. So I can never steal other’s happy ending.

Oh! I just hope that I can have one. I wish I could watch Romantic movies all day. Imagining that I am the main character. But at the tail end of every story, I woke up and realized that it was just an illusion after all. It is not that bad, right?… to wish for a happy ending? We know that time’s running and that we don’t have much time to wait for THE ONE.

For quite sometime, I learned so many things about life that I will forever keep in my mind. I once read that people are bound to fall in love and then fall. Literally, fall. Downfall. We have the right to love and we also have the right to be in pain. Every one’s end is still a mystery, and all we have to do is make the most out of it! Enjoy it.

We love adventures, right? Then we can grab that opportunity to search and take that one damn shot in a lifetime.

So, how about you? What will you do? Wait?…

“Every hour that we use to wait for our ONE DAMN SHOT is an hour that we waste to look for him.”

Time is running, so we better stop relying on movies and start writing our own!

Posted in blog

Halik na Sabik

blog #1+

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Basing from the title, tingin ko alam niyo o naiisip nyo na kung ano ang topiko ko ngayong gabing ito.

Halik.

Noong bata ako, hindi ko pa naiisip ang mga bagay na ganito. Nakapokus lang ang attention ko sa pag-aaral. Aral-bahay, iyan na lang ata ang routine ko noon. Tapos nag high school, at medyo.nag-landi na rin kung saan na-addict sa k-drama at kpop idols and eventually naging koreaboo. Napabayaan ang pag-aaral. Nagkaroon ng mga bagsak. Kahit ganoon, go pa rin sa pagiging hopeless romantic na teenager. Nasimulan na eh, why not itodo-todo na.

Naalala ko pa nga. Noong first year high school ako sinusulatan ko ng love letter yung first love ko (whispers: salutatorian namin nung elem) tapos iniipon ko sa shoe box nq maraming decor. Those were letter which were never receieved by the person who should be reading it. Ewan ko ba. Naglalandi ako pero hindi naman makapal mukha ko.

Well, eventually, nauntog din ako sa katotohanang walang mangyayaring magic na bigla na lang mapupunta yung sulat sa kamay nya. Wala eh.

So, I decided to burn them. Yes, sinunog ko talaga. Umiiyak-iyak pa nga ako nun eh. Hindi ba alam. Hindi naman naging kami. Pero siguro, nakaramdam ako ng panghihinayang nung time na yun.

I got over it.

Second year high school. Ito yung na-in love ako sa seatmate ko. Paano ba naman eh mapang-asar. Attention-seeker ata ang loko. Lagi akong hinihingan ng snacks kapag recess o di kaya correction tape at 1/4 na papel. Sana nga hingin na rin pati ‘oo’ ko. Pero syempre joke lang yun.

Anh ending namin? Hindi maganda. Nagustuhan ko sya at ang mas malala pa, noong nauntog na naman ako sa katotohanang hinding-hindi nya ako magugustuhan, nakasulat ako ng kanta. Hanep, di ba?

Umiiyak na naman ako nung time na yun. I was hoping that stories I read in Wattpad would come alive in my own page, pero hindi eh. Malabo talaga.

Pero bata pa naman ako noon eh.

Kaso, pumasok ang third year high school— panahon ng pinakamahirap na taon sa high school.

Syempre, may mga bagsak pa rin ako. Every grading period yun at walang palya. Kaso eto ang nakakaloka. Yung failing grade ko sa Organic Chemistry ng first grading na 2.75 naging 2.0 ba naman ng malupit sa sumunod na markahan. Paano ba naman eh natakot na ang lola mo kaya nagpa-tutor. Tapos doon ko mas naintindihan yung lesson kaya pagdating ng exam, petiks na lang. Na-1.25 ko yung exam, hanep! Akala pa nung ibang teacher eh nandaya ako. Hindi naman po. Pagsusumikap ang tawag dun.

So, sa taong iyon, mas nag-level ang paglalandi ko. Imagine!

Nagka-boyfriend ako. I met him through my cousin. Niligawan nya ako ng halos kalahating taon at sinagot ko sya ng Christmas day. Kaso wala eh.

Napagtanto ko na kahit anong day mo pa sagutin yung tao, basta hindi kayo click, wala talaga. Sasaboh at sasabog ang relasyon.

Wala pang isang buwan, wala na. Walang break-up. Basta bigla na lang nawalan ng komunikasyon. Minahal ko siya. Siguro. Masyado pa kasi akong bata noom para maitnindihan ng malaliman yung pagmamahal.

Pagdating ng huling taon sa high school, sabi ko awat na sa landi-landi na yan. Graduation muna, ples.

Kahit papaano, nag-focus naman na ako sa pag-aaral at sa wakas, naisuot ko rin yung toga na green.

Pasok sa kolehiyo. Namili ng kursong inaasahan kong mag eenjoy ako. Nakakilala ng friends and roommates… At syempre, nakakilala ng lalaling hindi ko inasahang makakakuha ng first kiss ko.

Bilang babae, siguro lahat tayo may ideal look ng first kiss. Yung tipong romantic. Yung tipong mapapapikit ka at parang titigil yung mundo— may fountain o firsworks at nakataas yung isa mo pang paa. Mga ganitong imahinasyon ba. Ano? Bukingan na?

Ganyan kasi sa akin eh. Mataas expectation ko sa first kiss ko.

Kaso totoo talaga yung expectation vs. reality eh.

Matutulog ako nun sa lap ng boyfriend ko. Nakaka-bagot kasi manood ng kahit ano sa youtube that time, so dating gawi— matulog sa lap ni boyfie.

So, habang nakapikit ako at hinuhuli ko yung antok ko, bigla nya akong tinanong kung pwede daw ba nya akong halikan. Sabi ko pwede naman, pero guys talaga nung una may takot talaga ako sa halik-halik na yan at iba pala talaga kapag ikaw na ang nahalikan.

Then, while eyes closed, he kissed me. Mabilis lang sya pero naramdam ko kaya nagulat din ako. Grabe. Nahihiya akong harapin sya noon. I don’t know why. Basta.

It waa his first kiss as well, just so you know. Kaya nakakatawa kasi hindi talaga kami marunong humalik.

Nasundan yun ng dalawa pang kiss para lang matuto konti. It was just a short kiss, nothing more, pero yung kabog ng dibdib ko ay sobra.

So, habang nag-uusap sa chat one time, nasabi ko sa kanya na huwag muna kaming pumunta sa level ng passionate kiss or a deeper one. Makakapaghintay naman yun eh.

Ang ayaw ko kasi, aware ako na our bodies can betray. It does. Aminin niyo! So as much as possible, habang sane pa lahat ng isipan, iwasan muna na mapunta sa kung ako and by that, simulan sa pag-iwas sa passionate kiss.

Actually hindi yung kwento kaso inaantok na ako. Hopefully, matuloy ko sya bukas.

Remember: hindi porke mahal mo, required na ang kiss. It’s a choice between you and your partner.

Ciao~

Posted in Story

muni muni

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Hindi ka lang ambon na nahulog mula sa mga alapaap

Na bigla na lang sisipsipin ng lupang uhaw

Na susubukang itago mula sa liwanag ng araw

Hindi ka lang isang malakas na ulan

Na kayang bahain ang sangkatauhan ng iyong pag ibig na tiyak ako walang maipapantay

Hindi ka lang dagat na kayang lunurin ang maninisid

na nais sirain ang ang tubig na tinitirhan ng mga isda o pusit

O bundok na mahigpit ang pagkakahawak sa mga punong ikaw mismo ang lumikha

Hindi ka lang kapatagan na tinatamnan ng pag-asang mamumuhay pa

ng mas matagal sa mga nilalang na walang ginawa kundi humingi pa

At hihingi pa ng mas higit pa sa butil ng palay na Ikaw mismo ang nag alay

Ang buhay ay higit pa sa nakikita ng dalawang mata

Sa pag mumuni muni ko, alam ko na higit ka pa sa mga ito

Tinatangi mo ang sanlinutan kahit na pighati at galit lamang ang pilit nitong pinapakita

Pagsamo ang binibigay sayo ng naniniwala at parte ito ng kanilang gunita

Ikaw ay higit pa sa mundo at maging sa walang hanggan

Alam ko ito, sa malalim na pagmumuni muni ko

Ikaw na siyang pinakamakaangyarihan na piniling ialay ang buhay ng bugtong na anak para sa makasalanang sangkatauhan

Ikaw na siyang naghubog sa bawat isa para maging mabuting tao kahit pa man ang iba’y piniling mapariwa

Ikaw na mapagmahal na ama na kung ano man ang hilingin ng mga anak ay pinagbibigyan mo pa

Kahit na kadalasa’y nasasaktan ka na
Ikaw na kalong-kalong ang buong mundong nakakalimot na

Nakakalimot sa iyong presensya, sa Iyong dakilang gawa

Sa bawat pagsikat o paglubog ng araw, maging sa takipsilim— sa paghalik ng liwanag sa dilim—, naroon ka

Muni muni

Huni huni ng mga ibong sumasabay sa saliw ng hangin

Muni muni

Sising sisi ako para hindi ka mas maagang kilalanin

Muni muni

Huli huli, hindi pa huli ang lahat para mag sisi

Muni muni

Dahil ang susi lamang dito ay tanggapin ka sa palasak kong buhay na lungkot ang naghari

Upang sa ganoon ay ang langit sa aking ibabaw ay tuluyang maging bughaw

Ako ay uhaw, hindi ako bibitaw

Muni muni, alam ko

Higit ka sa ambon, sa ulan, sa dagat

Higit ka sa araw, sa bundok, sa kapatagan

Ikaw ang nag-iisang Diyos, Panginoon, Ama

Ang sa aki’y lumikha

Ikaw, oh, ikaw

Ang nag-iisa.

//

To God be the all the highest glory.

Posted in Uncategorized

Uhm

That was my first kiss and I gave to the guy I love. I know.

I feel like floating in mid-air. So that’s what it feels like, huh?